A Bad Time to Blog / A Good Time to Rest

This is a bad time for me to try to write something that will be helpful to other people. Because right now I have a lot of unprocessed thoughts & feelings inside me, and at times like this it’s hard to get outside myself. I don’t want to be self-absorbed; I just am. And in a way, I feel like I’ve earned it.

I am taking a sabbatical – an intentional break from making a living in order to rest, renew, and re-engage (= go back to work). I am conceding that the world can continue functioning if I am not personally ensuring it does so.

I am not an expert on Sabbath, on God’s idea of rest, or on sabbatical. I haven’t done tons of reading or research on it. I just know that I took a sabbatical eleven years ago, and the result was a restored, re-inspired me with a clear sense of what was next. It was a “win” in every major category: inner man, social man, working man. (Please forgive the male language; I am writing very personally, about me, and I am male.)

So with those overwhelmingly positive outcomes to bolster my conviction, I – with my wife’s support – embarked on sabbatical #2.

It’s not going like the first one, eleven years ago, or like I planned for this one. Which has surprised me (though probably not others), and blown a whistle that began an inner wrestling match between me and, well, God. I mean, shoot: Haven’t I earned a sabbatical? Doesn’t God know I have worked hard, and need rest? Who’s in charge here, anyway?

Apparently not me. And apparently, me re-learning that is important enough to God that He’s willing to push back the start date on “rest” until I, well, re-get it.

I’m reading a book on rest right now, The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan. The book is not what I thought it was going to be. (I’m seeing a theme here, and I’m not sure I like it.) But it’s good. Buchanan talks about finding joy in unlikely places, and how he gets to those places by obeying God. It seems – in his experience – that you don’t find rest by deciding what’s restful for you, and resolutely pursuing it, as you see fit. You find rest, and joy, by trusting and obeying God. Which, counter to your intuition, often leads you through places that don’t appear very restful.

So I’m kind of walking that out, right now. My plan for rest has just barely left the station. But I’m pretty sure that God’s plan is already halfway to Minneapolis.

“The LORD foils the plans of the nations“, says the psalmist in Psalm 33; “But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever“. Hmm, I wonder if my plans needed foiling, in order for His to stand firm – including His plan to make me less self-absorbed?

I think so, and I hope so. It’s just frustrating, and a little humiliating, to have my careful, even prayerful plans get put in their rightful place… and me get shown for what I am: a student and a mortal and a person whose ideas are sometimes wood, hay, and straw.

Perhaps – I’m pretty sure of this, actually – there is true rest in that. There is rest and joy, as a mortal, in contenting yourself in the care of the One who is immortal.

Want a practical step to help make this real? Read, on the heels of Psalm 33, Psalm 34. The writer (identified as David) describes the love of God as so much more than just a concept; it is an invitation, to you as a mortal, to accept and experience. I pray that you will feel this in your inner being. Will you join me in believing what the reader board says on the old Western Auto store in Coquille, Oregon: “Revival Coming Soon”?